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The Friday Flush … one of many unfinished design projects
December 19, 2009, 2:35 am
Filed under: ads, design, drawing, facebook, fun, hoax, my work, news, party, popular media

As most of my design brethren will prescribe, is that we have many ideas, lots of them good ones, but at times, often never follow through with them. Similarly all of us have many pet projects which we have started and never finished due to the constraints of time and priority of other more pressing things. We all hope at some stage that we can get to them but if it actually manifests is another case. I have a folder on my computer dedicated to about 20 projects I’ve started but never quite got back to. Most of them I drop through lost of interest or lack of time. Most of them are pretty silly and some after a while cease to be relevant.

An opportunity came up recently where I could use three of my past ideas in the same project for a poster. It was for a event / exhibition / evening / drinks thing. So I thought I would give it a bash to finally put these things to bed.

The three ideas are quite different but could possibly work well together. One of my ideas was to produce a faux newspaper or publication called The Friday Flush which contained completely absurb news, along the same lines as The Onion, but with local references. The name derives from Mr Gavin O’Brien who used to do a weekly email send out years back of the same name. The ideas was to distribute it around town on Fridays as a small format piece just for a shits and jiggles agitative thing. This never happened.

Another idea, I had recently was similarly to do a smaller, more manageable version which was just leaflet-sized. It would just feature a list of absurd headlines in 140 characters or less as a response to Twitter-style short but sharp format. This I would call: News in Shorts. Again this never manifested.

The third idea was a poster or fake ad which celebrated the fearless leader of Microsoft, Steve Ballmer. As a Mac user, myself  and a number of colleagues scoff at his increasing manic behaviour over the years. A while back we or I became slightly obsessed by it, as he ascended to take the reigns off Bill Gates. One of his most striking features is his well, slight perspiration issue. My poster ad was for a brand new Microsoft product which catered blatantly to the Microsoft Maestro. The product was a piece of apparel called The Ballmer Breeze. This is patented ventilated shirt which helped give the appearance of  a cool and calm character rather than a sweaty mess, Like Ballmer is. Again, I never got around the designing this one.

↑ see for yourself  ↑

Anyways, my idea for the new poster was to do a front page for The Friday Flush, with various news items, including a write-up and ad for the New Ballmer Breeze, and a segment dedicated to News in Shorts in the bottom corner. I started it and did about 80% but unfortunately missed the deadline as it was towards the end of busy semester and I was off to Australia. The exhibition by-the-way was in Perth and I was meant to be there while it was on. They changed the date of it at the last minute though which meant I would have missed it anyway. Oh well. Above is where I got up to. As you can probably make out I got the whole structure done, most of the illustrations and pretty much all the copy written (but have used place holder here as it was mostly pretty drafty).

I have no plans on finishing this version because most of the news items are no longer current. I may though still resurrect the idea at some stage as I do like what I have done here. Here are some details from where I got up to (click on the images to view larger):

This is the headline. I wanted it to seem as authentic as possible so I modeled the banner in part on the ODT and The Guardian. I included the normal fixins – barcode, prices ,dates, regional info  etc. I tried to maintain the toilet reference through the whole thing (as it  is filled with toilet humour, but maybe a bit witty also) so I allude to it a few times …. “Real News without the Crap” and “Independent Bowel of the South”.

I even put in all the registration / printer marks.


Headline news topic  #1  – I heard rumours that this was being pitched for the next Survivor season after the current Samoa. I could be wrong. (I think I stole this idea from someone but can’t remember where I read it)


Headline news topic #2 – This is more a nostalgia thing if anything else. I had become a fake ‘friend’ of his on Facebook and he was quite possibly the most annoying, boring friend ever. Seemed nice enough, but this was my way to make him seem more sinister and interesting. I make reference to him in the News in Shorts section too. I like that two of the suits in cards are also potential weapons … club and spade.


A kiddies corner – strange having one on the front page but I had space to fill. Drawing these up was harder than you might think.



The weather with 2009’s internet phenom, Haitian weatherman ‘Arthur’ … who I’ve posted on before.  I know, I know, the newspaper doesn’t need a weather presenter. This was one of these ‘of the moment’ bits of the poster.

News in Shorts – Hike ’em up it’s gonna be brief. Some of them are kinda funny, well to me anyway.



One of the images I made for a news item on the ridiculous PB and J double ended spoon. I came across this designer object earlier in the year and thought it was worth a mention.



This I thought was worth also another mention, ie. these bizarre Windows 7 parties. In the copy I wrote for this I suggested these parties were actually a front for organizing multi-racial, multi-generational sex orgies. Could still be true?

Note that although my aim was to be as authentic as possible, design-wise, I decided to do illustrations for all the news items instead of using photos just so I had total designship over the whole thing. This of course, was my downfall for getting the damn thing finished.

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1 Comment so far
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love the David Bain drawing!

Comment by Cassie




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